i can't believe i had my finger in that
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
