So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
