this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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