he was CRYING into my vagina
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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