He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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