my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
