do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
