using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
