Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
