I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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