Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
