So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
