i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
