I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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