wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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