Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize