He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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