I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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