I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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