There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
