My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
