so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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