yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize