And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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