I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
