We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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