I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
