I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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