I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
