What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
