she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize