You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
