I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize