your room smells of hookers.
And success
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this is an emotional support booty call
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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