Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
