The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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