apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
