there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
