you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
