I bet he comes in French.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
