I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
