You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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