Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize