Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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