My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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