I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
