To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
