you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
