they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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