i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
