So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
