don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
