Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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