she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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