"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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