she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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