Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
