i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
