Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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