Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
