You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
